31 August 2014
Before embarking on the Camino de Santiago (a pilgrimage through Spain), I pounded the pavement, dirt roads, hiking trails and any other surface that might provide some sort of physical conditioning. One of my routes close to home, led me by a construction site. I watched as the ground was leveled, wooden stakes placed in an orderly fashion, concrete foundations laid and wondered what would spring up on this place bordering a fairly new neighborhood. By the time I was ready to leave in late June, the building project was almost complete. The signage was up. The message was clear—“too much stuff for your house or garage? No worries, we can help you. We have storage units for all your possessions, including your boat or car.
Ironically, my husband and I were packing our “possessions” into backpacks—all that we might need for a thirty day journey, covering five hundred miles through Spain. We pondered what was “necessary” for this journey, pored through guidebooks, blogs and did our best to be prepared. And while our backpacks were heavy, I smugly reassured myself that “at least I don’t have a storage unit.”
As we made our pilgrimage, the first few days of excitement and anticipation began to wear off. Our backpacks were heavy and weighing us down, putting an extra burden on hips, knees and feet. As the miles piled up, this extra weight began to take its toll not only physically, but emotionally as well. Blistered feet, sore hips, tired legs and cranky spirits began to take their toll. By the eighth day of the Camino de Santiago, a command decision was made—some of these “essential things” had to go. First, went the sleeping pads, then the sleeping bags, the Kindle, extra clothes, electronics, toiletries—anything that was not absolutely essential was put into a box and mailed to the post office at our final destination, Santiago. This amounted to 12.5 pounds between the two of us.
The relief of less weight on my back was enormous. I felt lighter, with a sense of freedom. How did I carry so much weight for so long? The burden of those extra possessions had weighed me down and made me think about what else I was carrying about. What else did I need to shed? A few things came to mind:
Pride. Judgment. Fear. Self-recrimination. Doubt. Despair.
Ah, yes, those are not quite as easy to shed, box up and ship away. But, with each mile walked, each encounter with those along the way, each hour of quiet, each piece of clothing hand washed at the end of the day, I learned to let go. Or perhaps, more truthfully, I was stripped of all that seemed to weigh me down. Pride? Well, I might have just walked twenty miles, but so did hundreds of other folks. Judgment? (and making assumptions about others?) My first impressions of people, especially the negative impressions, were proved to be erroneous as I got to know them along the way.
Fear? (and the fear was endless….would we find a place to stay that night? Would we get injured? Could we endure the endless walking?). Each day took care of itself and the fears began to lessen. Self-recrimination, doubt and despair? Trusting that each day has its own gift of beauty and joy, no matter how difficult the journey began to replace such thoughts.
Now, truth be told, I still experienced pride, judgment, fear, self-recrimination, doubt, and even despair, but I was no longer captive to them. The mystery of the Camino is that little by little, the shedding takes place. Little, by little, there is the opportunity to let go—yes, even fall down, but get up again and again and walk, trusting that all will be well. Entering into the mystery of the journey brings a quiet joy and the deep peace of Christ.
And, yes, at the end of the Camino, we retrieved our 12.5 pounds of stuff at the Correos (post office) along with several other pilgrims! We chuckled at our mutual need for stuff, and sighed as we unpacked the items from boxes and stuffed them back into our backpacks for the journey home.
The ongoing story encompasses my transition to Kenya, and in particular her slums with houses smaller than most storage units. Stay tuned for the rest of the story.
Always Mercy
Pamela
