Deaconesses Pamela, Mary, Callen visiting Virginia in the slums of Kawangware

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.

Mother Teresa

There was a time, about 15 years ago, when I set my heart on traveling to Calcutta, India, to visit the hospice established by the now sainted Mother Teresa and her Missionaries of Charity. I imagined immersing myself in the mercy and compassion of the sisters as they rendered care to those who were unwanted and cast aside, ensuring that each person knew they were loved and not alone. Mother Teresa also writes:

There is much suffering in the world—very much. And this material suffering is suffering from hunger, suffering from homelessness, from all kinds of diseases, but I still think the greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved, just having no one. I have come more and more to realize that it is being unwanted that is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience.

I never made it to Calcutta, but I have been witness to the tender compassion given by my Kenyan deaconess sisters, often to those who are on the margins, whose circumstance or diagnosis create barriers; making them outcasts, easily forgotten and isolated. In their willingness to enter into the loneliness that creates despair, the deaconesses embodied Christ’s love with such joy it made me weep.

I’ve also seen love embodied in other places. The Living Room hospices in Kip Karen and Eldoret, Kenya, welcomed me, my husband, friend Anne and Pastor David Chuchu, with open arms as we earnestly dreamt of starting a hospice 4 hours away. Here, The Living Room patients or (guests, as they are known) were treated with the tenderness of a mother with her newborn, by a highly trained, loving and caring, professional staff.

And another time, way back to my younger, formative years, my mama took on the mantle of hospice volunteer–this after her divorce and before starting nursing school. In her loneliness, my mama reached out to make sure others might not have to feel so alone. I remember she took me to the hospital to meet one of her hospice “clients”. I watched in wonder and soaked up my mama’s kindness, her easy presence in the midst of illness and dying, and her wonderful laugh which could break the tension of any situation. Although I didn’t know it at the time, the seeds of mercy and compassion were planted.

Said, Rehema’s First Inpatient Guest

Rehema Hospice and Clinic recently welcomed her first inpatient guest, Said. He is a 72 year old man diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. Before admission, a family conference was held with Said’s eight children and wife, and the staff at Rehema, including Pastor Chuchu. Here, it was discovered that only a daughter-in-law knew of the actual diagnosis. Even Said did not know the true nature of his illness. A guided, but frank, discussion brought the family together for Said’s care. Even today in Kenya, a severe illness like cancer is met with fear, shame and stigma, and treated similar to someone having an HIV/AIDS diagnosis in the worst days of the AIDS epidemic. Doctors are reluctant to reveal a cancer diagnosis for fear of being labeled that doctor who brings only death and thus should be avoided.

Carefully and kindly, one of Rehema’s nurses facilitated the conference and helped the children understand the true nature of their father’s illness. Said was then admitted to help with pain and symptom management. Over the course of a few days, Said’s pain got under control. His other symptoms were eased and he was able to return home. He and his family know that Rehema is ready to receive him back anytime he needs additional specialized care. Said is never alone.

Said, flanked by Rehema nurses, Cindy and Samwel, ready to return home.

Thank you for partnering with us! Your generosity ensures that people like Said know that they are loved and cared for.

May the gift of our crucified and risen Lord assure us that we are never alone.

A blessed Easter.

Always Mercy,

Pamela